Gwyneth Paltrow Is Selling a Vagina-Scented Candle

Right now at Goop, you can buy a candle called Orchard or Church, or you can buy one called This Smells Like My Vagina. The candle costs $75, and Goop says it sold out within hours at one of the companys events (it does match the other branding). High-end, wellness-y Brooklyn beauty shop Shen also

Right now at Goop, you can buy a candle called Orchard or Church, or you can buy one called “This Smells Like My Vagina.”

The candle costs $75, and Goop says it sold out within hours at one of the company’s events (it does match the other branding). High-end, wellness-y Brooklyn beauty shop Shen also carries the candle, but it’s currently sold out on its site.

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by Anonymousreply 120January 26, 2020 8:03 PM

Included in a display of varied scented candles, and it could be used to make a straight man think of sex!

Or, to get unwelcome gay guests to go the fuck home.

by Anonymousreply 2January 10, 2020 11:08 PM

Why didn’t I think of that?

by Anonymousreply 3January 10, 2020 11:09 PM

No one needs this just like no one needs cock n balls candles. Oh wait...

by Anonymousreply 5January 10, 2020 11:15 PM

Some will burn it and use it as a dildo.

by Anonymousreply 6January 10, 2020 11:20 PM

It’s a mix of wax and vagina juice—we’ll call it Pussy Whipped.

by Anonymousreply 8January 10, 2020 11:26 PM

I'm completely convinced she's mad. How tasteless.

by Anonymousreply 9January 10, 2020 11:27 PM

The scent reminds me of caviar.

by Anonymousreply 10January 10, 2020 11:31 PM

If I donated the scent it would smell like a candle being burned at both ends: Ass and Bajingo.

by Anonymousreply 11January 10, 2020 11:34 PM

The candle will be shaped like a tampon with the string still in it.

by Anonymousreply 12January 10, 2020 11:40 PM

SIDE EFFECTS: Nose dripping, crotch itching, desire to lick

by Anonymousreply 15January 10, 2020 11:46 PM

I hope Gwyneth's "This Smells Like My Vagina" candles are a bigger hit than last year's "This Smells Like My Butt" dryer sachets.

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by Anonymousreply 16January 10, 2020 11:49 PM

Some people are just stupid.

by Anonymousreply 17January 10, 2020 11:52 PM

I say let her bilk such people for all she can scam out of them.

by Anonymousreply 18January 10, 2020 11:53 PM

Goop’s a fucking loon. If I wanted to smell vagina-which I don’t- I’d open a can of cheap tuna

by Anonymousreply 19January 10, 2020 11:53 PM

I'm sure her mum's awfully proud. Her children will probably be teased over this as well.

by Anonymousreply 20January 10, 2020 11:53 PM

WARNING: Be aware that vagina scented candles will attract uninvited lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 22January 11, 2020 12:18 AM

On the plus side, you can use it as Chris Martin-repellent.

by Anonymousreply 24January 11, 2020 1:04 AM

It’s all a big joke, hardee har har. The candle smells like soap since women keep their vaginas so clean. Hardee har har.

She’s laughing en route to the bank.

by Anonymousreply 25January 11, 2020 1:09 AM

This does not smell like [italic]my[/italic] vagina.

IMAGINE A BUNDLE OF ROSES WRAPPED IN SUEDE… THIS LIMITED EDITION CANDLE EVOKES SENSUALITY, WARMTH, AND INTRIGUE. IT’S A VOLUPTUOUS SCENT OF FANTASY AND SEDUCTION. MADE WITH A COMBINATION OF NATURAL AND SAFE SYNTHETIC FRAGRANCE MATERIALS BLENDED IN VEGETABLE WAX WITH A LEAD-FREE COTTON WICK.

TOP: BERGAMOT, GERANIUM, CEDAR

HEART: DAMASK ROSE

BASE: AMBRETTE SEED

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by Anonymousreply 26January 11, 2020 1:12 AM

I hope the arse candle isn't to follow.

by Anonymousreply 28January 11, 2020 1:18 AM

It probably smells like fishsticks...

by Anonymousreply 29January 11, 2020 3:40 AM

And I took that Yoni egg out after it had marinated a few days and I said to Jeeves, "make me a candle out of that smell, do it for all the little people".

by Anonymousreply 30January 11, 2020 3:47 AM

Who is buying this overpriced shit? Her coked out has been actress friends?

by Anonymousreply 31January 11, 2020 3:51 AM

Why didn't I think of this?

by Anonymousreply 32January 11, 2020 4:22 AM

She sholud've named it L' Eau de Cunt.

by Anonymousreply 33January 11, 2020 4:27 AM

She could make a killing if she partnered with Air Wick or Glade Plugins. "Ida! Your house smells so fresh! Yum!". "That's Gwynneth Paltrow's vagina, Mabel! Available as a Glade Plugin!"

by Anonymousreply 35January 11, 2020 6:18 AM

Time to reboot the blindfolded Pepsi challenge.

by Anonymousreply 36January 11, 2020 6:46 AM

Probably will sell better than Brad Pitt’s candle: SMELLS LIKE MY ASS.

by Anonymousreply 37January 11, 2020 6:47 AM

You've got to be careful as it can all become very confusing, you light your vagina candle and steam your vagina. Please don't light your vagina and steam your candle, it makes a terrible mess.

by Anonymousreply 38January 11, 2020 7:32 AM

How many of these were sold. I would imagine that many of them were bought as prank gifts. You just KNOW that some woman is going to buy one and light it up on her kitchen table. Her husband is going to walk in the room and say, "Honey, I think you need to take a bath."

by Anonymousreply 39January 11, 2020 7:38 AM

Before her Oscar, her vagina probably smelled like Harvey Weinstein's mouth.

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by Anonymousreply 40January 11, 2020 7:40 AM

I'm going to assume that this candle's scent is just the recycled scent "Sea Breeze" or "Ocean Mist". Otherwise, who had to sit in a lab and keep mixing the scents until they got a match.

by Anonymousreply 41January 11, 2020 7:41 AM

Ewww, R40. I don't want to imagine whalestein's mouth on anything...well, maybe on a massive hotdog he ends up choking on.

by Anonymousreply 42January 11, 2020 7:50 AM

Which one of her boyfriends told her that her pussy stank?

by Anonymousreply 43January 11, 2020 8:26 AM

Can we get a cum scented cologne or fragrance? Or a cum scented facial mask?

by Anonymousreply 44January 11, 2020 10:07 AM

Smells like shit.

(she wipes back to front)

by Anonymousreply 45January 11, 2020 10:12 AM

R44 which actor would it be based on?

by Anonymousreply 46January 11, 2020 10:41 AM

This woman is obsessed with her vagina. Waxing it, steaming it, shoving eggs up there.....and over sharing the results. Something very wrong with her.

by Anonymousreply 48January 11, 2020 10:54 AM

it’s marketing genius. no wonder it’s always sold out. and so cheaply manufactured with so many smelly pussy around.

by Anonymousreply 49January 11, 2020 1:26 PM

That candle gave me HPV and lung cancer.

by Anonymousreply 50January 11, 2020 2:10 PM

[quote] Why didn’t I think of that?

[quote]—Cheryl

Indeed, you could license it out and make a fortune!

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by Anonymousreply 51January 11, 2020 2:38 PM

You can use it to ‘dip your wick’.

by Anonymousreply 52January 11, 2020 4:06 PM

[bold] The One Where DLs Many Mincing Prisspots Are Triggered By The Words "Vagina" And "Smell" (The Addition Of "Gwyneth Paltrow" Doesn't Hurt Either [/bold]

by Anonymousreply 53January 11, 2020 4:11 PM

I sure hope she picks the right pH balance for the smell.

by Anonymousreply 54January 11, 2020 4:18 PM

And it seems to me, you lived your life

Like a sniff tested candle in the wind.

by Anonymousreply 55January 11, 2020 4:21 PM

Can you believe it? A candle that smells like Gwynneth Paltrow's vagina? They asked me but decided not to sell it because the candle smelled like cobwebs.

by Anonymousreply 56January 11, 2020 4:55 PM

Orchard or Church is a stupid name for a candle.

by Anonymousreply 57January 11, 2020 5:19 PM

So? I have been selling vagina-scented protein for DECADES

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by Anonymousreply 58January 11, 2020 5:22 PM

Here's what you actually get for $75

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by Anonymousreply 59January 11, 2020 5:26 PM

Why is Gwyneth so freaking obsessed with her Vadge? Shoving eggs up it, steaming it and now selling candles that smell like it? Seems like a very disturbed woman. If this is supposed to be some sort of woke feminism and empowerment it seems to be having the opposite effect.

by Anonymousreply 60January 11, 2020 5:31 PM

For $75 you can buy 50 x 5.5 oz cans of Friskies "Mariner's Catch", and you don't need to risk setting fire to your home.

by Anonymousreply 61January 11, 2020 5:53 PM

Ask Chris Martin how it smells

by Anonymousreply 62January 11, 2020 6:08 PM

So this mess was just an advertising campaign?

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by Anonymousreply 63January 11, 2020 6:14 PM

Douglas Little’s wax vagina smells NOTHING like my vagina! Why, it’s almost as if he‘s never even smelled a vagina!!!! But he’s a man! I’m so confused!

Who is his superior? I need to send an email RIGHT NOW!!

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by Anonymousreply 64January 11, 2020 7:26 PM

OP made a mistake. It is being sold on Chris Pratt's new site as Elk Bait Scent.

by Anonymousreply 66January 12, 2020 12:46 AM

My candle is in stock and on sale!

5 for $20. Gas mask not included

by Anonymousreply 67January 12, 2020 12:47 AM

What’s next?

This tastes like my vagina chewing gum?

by Anonymousreply 68January 12, 2020 12:55 AM

I'd speculate about the next step being the sale of her used bathwater to adoring fans, but I gather from awards show reports that it might be in short supply.

by Anonymousreply 69January 14, 2020 3:27 AM

Will Jason Bateman ever be selling a candle that smells like his penis?

by Anonymousreply 70January 14, 2020 3:28 AM

If he does, can it be ordered through AMAZON?

by Anonymousreply 71January 14, 2020 3:30 AM

She seems like the type to rub her vaginal juices on men to upset other women. The world of Goop seems petty and tedious.

by Anonymousreply 72January 14, 2020 3:30 AM

[quote]High-end, wellness-y Brooklyn beauty shop Shen also carries the candle

NOW I'm ready to fucking move. I thought the store that only sold mayo was fucking ridiculous. I'm done.

by Anonymousreply 73January 14, 2020 3:34 AM

She's so obsessed with this stuff that I guarantee she sucks at sex no matter how many tricks she learns.

by Anonymousreply 74January 14, 2020 3:43 AM

And to think she was once a respected actress. I wonder if when she is 80 (still rubbing her twat no doubt) if she'll look back on her life and think maybe she made a few wrong turns. I guess the only thing that matters to her is making money. Her kids are old enough to be properly mortified by this.

by Anonymousreply 75January 14, 2020 4:14 AM

The only thing gagworthy about it is that narcissist's never-ending quest for attention. She walked in on the perfumer, smelled what he had been working on and blurted out, "hey, that smells like my vagina!" It did not smell like her vagina.

She loves to talk about how she drinks whiskey every day, shocks rappers with her prolific use of "motherfucker," and now her hole spews exhaust fumes of bergamot, geranium, and damask rose. Sure, Goop. You win.

by Anonymousreply 77January 14, 2020 5:32 AM

Fun fact, Kerry Washington and her went to the same upper class All Girls High School in Manhattan.

by Anonymousreply 78January 14, 2020 5:33 AM

"gwyneth paltrow is selling her vagina"

ooook, but this news is a bit late.

by Anonymousreply 79January 14, 2020 6:07 AM

And some of you think that Meghan Markle merchandise won't sell? Think again.

by Anonymousreply 80January 14, 2020 6:25 AM

R77 she also refers to her grandmother as a cunt.

by Anonymousreply 81January 14, 2020 11:29 AM

Vivienne Westwood did it first with Boudoir.

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by Anonymousreply 82January 14, 2020 11:40 AM

[quote] And to think she was once a respected actress.

Yeah, literally once: when that fat lech Harvey Weinstein bought her an Oscar.

by Anonymousreply 83January 14, 2020 1:12 PM

Since the debut of the candle has been such a smashing success, she's working on a vagina flavoured lip balm and gloss!

by Anonymousreply 84January 14, 2020 5:37 PM

Haven’t they all been snatched up already?

by Anonymousreply 86January 14, 2020 9:23 PM

Does Gwyneth also sell Daniel Craig - scented moisturizing hand lotion?

by Anonymousreply 89January 15, 2020 1:23 AM

[quote] This woman is obsessed with her vagina.

She thinks about pussy more than straight men do.

by Anonymousreply 90January 15, 2020 2:42 AM

Something is fishy here.

I think she is overcompensating for insecurities and desperately trying to convince herself that her vag is just not so fresh.

I’m assuming the candle smells like Lysol

by Anonymousreply 91January 16, 2020 1:08 PM

Smell like her vagina, my arse...

by Anonymousreply 92January 17, 2020 9:50 PM

So annoying bougie hawks "Bougie Parfumée"? Something tells me cooze candles are not Made in France.

by Anonymousreply 93January 17, 2020 10:41 PM

They’re made in WeHo by the world-class vaginiste in the video at R64.

by Anonymousreply 94January 17, 2020 11:22 PM

I can just picture Cheetolini running through an area burning one of those candles grabbing randomly at the air . Pure automatic reaction.

by Anonymousreply 95January 17, 2020 11:28 PM

Sanda Bernhard use to use that expression that Martha utters. What is it. "zhush it up"

I assumed it was Yiddish but apparently not.

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by Anonymousreply 96January 17, 2020 11:54 PM

Next, she'll start selling a special all natural cream for the goop coming out of her vagina.

by Anonymousreply 98January 18, 2020 9:01 AM

Can you imagine the profit margin on these?

Some cheap paraffin, a little musky perfume base and a dribble of juice from a can of tuna fish, and they sell it for $75. That's got to clear them at least $74.50 per candle.

by Anonymousreply 99January 18, 2020 9:39 AM

I can buy a can of sardines cheaper and on the plus side it's actually edible.

by Anonymousreply 100January 18, 2020 9:50 AM

Tom Ford has fragrances called Lost Cherry and Rose Prick.

by Anonymousreply 101January 18, 2020 9:52 AM

Tom Ford did it before Goop. Didn’t go that well.

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by Anonymousreply 102January 18, 2020 10:03 AM

And this was the double-hole scent:

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by Anonymousreply 104January 18, 2020 10:12 AM

Was Melania the model for that r103? Looks familiar....

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by Anonymousreply 105January 18, 2020 2:35 PM

Up next" "I can't believe it's not pussy"

by Anonymousreply 106January 18, 2020 3:04 PM

Wife: "What would you like for your birthday darling?" Husband "How about one of those cockamamie cunt candles!"

by Anonymousreply 107January 18, 2020 6:10 PM

she certainly is an attention whore

by Anonymousreply 108January 18, 2020 6:13 PM

Can the candle fit on a birthday cake?

by Anonymousreply 109January 19, 2020 1:43 AM

What's next, a line of douche called "Gee, your twat smells terrific!"

by Anonymousreply 110January 19, 2020 5:37 AM

Funnily enough, after telling a friend about this, she asked "What's the matter with her... do you think she's on drugs?" I just laughed and said I had no idea. A few days ago, she admitted to Seth Meyers that she just happened to be tripping on mushrooms when she was sniffing the candle scents. (taste and smells can become altered) She just bluryed out "That smells lime my vagina"... they laughed, and she decided to run with it.

by Anonymousreply 111January 24, 2020 6:21 PM

R111, I think the idiots who BUY it are on drugs.

by Anonymousreply 112January 24, 2020 6:24 PM

This is an Onion article right?

by Anonymousreply 113January 24, 2020 6:25 PM

R112 They're as loony as she is, no matter what.

by Anonymousreply 114January 24, 2020 6:28 PM

The women who buy things like this are definitely upper middle class to upper class women. Mostly well-to do white women. The type who lives in Brentwood, Malibu, or Pacific Palisades in California.

They are well married and come extreme wealth. They go yoga and go to the coffee bean. They drive range rovers, and walk around in athletic wear every day, while their going to the farmers market and drinking their green health drinks.

And these women always have access to a shit load of $$$$$$.

That's Goops demographic.

by Anonymousreply 115January 24, 2020 7:00 PM

R115 From what I had read, it was said that MEN bought most of the candles, and some women bought them for men.

by Anonymousreply 116January 24, 2020 8:19 PM

Trophy/gold-digging/second wives love her.

by Anonymousreply 117January 25, 2020 12:21 AM

Goop ought to ramp up production, and begin shipping them to Wuhan. They probably could work more effectively than smelling salts, to revive all the people who have collapsed in the street.

by Anonymousreply 119January 26, 2020 11:29 AM

Elton John bought a ton of her vagina-scented candles

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by Anonymousreply 120January 26, 2020 8:03 PM

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pa3TmqOorZ6csm%2BvzqZmraCimq6le5FuamtpZGl%2BbrPWsqWerJhivaK406umsGWZqHq0sculoKefXZZ6t63GoqWaZaOYsq%2FAxJ1knJmembmm

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